Stretching the Birthday Suit Idea

I regularly follow social media with the hashtag #birthday. You can see what I find if you follow me @birthdaysarebest. In the meantime, I want to weigh in on a phenomenon I’ve noticed — women posting selfies of their birthday outfits.

To begin, let me clear, I do not want to body shame any one in this blog. I am thoroughly impressed with the confidence these women have in posting their barely clad bodies on twitter.

What shocks me is the lack of fabric in the outfits of choice. I didn’t realize I was such a prude until I started seeing these grinning young women in scanty clothes. I have done a mental cataloging of my own past birthday outfits — notice I don’t say birthday suit — and even when I was their age I don’t remember a day where I wore so little fabric!

Birthday Skin

Without naming any names (or twitter handles), I’ve seen an awful lot of birthday skin by virtue of following the #birthday tag.

Apparently birthday outfit means you have to:

  • Show your belly button
  • Barely cover your breasts
  • Keep skirt hemline thigh high at best
  • Wear shoes that are sure to kill you if you have any drinks and attempt to dance.

I may have done one of these at most in my younger days — Ok, maybe two in my wildest days — but all four at once? Man, clearly I am over the hill (and should probably start regretting my age at birthdays more).

I am certainly over the hill enough to regret the evening when I ended up viewing an unexpected eggplant shot. Some guy thought it was a great gift to a girl to share his engorged self on social media. For a hilarious take on this phenomenon check out Famous Authors Reply to Your Unsolicited Dick Pic on McSweeney’s.

Hey! hint…that is not really something that gets many girls going…dress sharp and take a photo. Tell her you dressed up for her because she’s so classy. See where that gets you instead. You can thank me later.

In the meantime, I have come across a song that probably inspires some of the birthday outfits I’ve seen. Thanks Rihanna:

 

Top 5 Ways to Spend $300K birthday present

Birthday lottery winning

Photo credit: Infomastern via Foter.com / CC BY-SA

It’s been a family tradition for years for family members to send Ervin Smolinksi scratch-off lottery tickets and chocolate for his birthday. This year it paid off.

The 94-year-old man made the news when he won $300,000 in the Michigan Lottery. His daughter-in-law bought the winning ticket as a gift for the World War II veteran.

“I’ve seen a whole lot in my life, and I don’t get worked up easily. I think my son-in-law was more worked up that I was,” Smolinksi said. In the CNN coverage the former sailor said, ”

I’m pretty frugal, I always shop sales and take care of my money and that won’t change.”
“The only thing that will change is I won’t have as much stress in my life worrying about money,” the former sailor said, “I’m pretty frugal, I always shop sales and take care of my money and that won’t change….The only thing that will change is I won’t have as much stress in my life worrying about money.”

Birthday Money

His win got me thinking though, as I probably too often do, what I would do if I won the lottery. Considering I don’t often play the lottery, it’s really a ridiculous game to play in my head. Yet, I enjoy the mental game. So, because this blog is often about giving, let me give you my top 5 ways to spend lottery winnings:

  1. Travel the world. Truly. Buy a tour package that has a travel agent set it up for you to get to every continent and live it up in luxurious hotels along the way.
  2. Pay off (or if you’re renting now buy with cash) house. Think of the joy of having a home that’s all equity. Come time to sell it, or pass it on, you’re sitting on value.
  3. Build up the college fund. With just one kid it’ll be easier for me to top up the account with some of these extra dollars, but putting it in his account in advance gives my family the benefit of accrued interest.
  4. Throw a massive — and I mean massive — par-tay for everyone I know and love in a destination location and with me footing the bill for hotels and travel and all that. Sort of like a wedding party, but I pay for it and we don’t have to say “I do” again.
  5. Donate. Find a few causes that you truly care about. Do the research about their credibility and give, give, give.

Those who are good at math might realize something here…I’ve probably overspent the $300K. Especially after the government takes the taxes out. Still, it’s fun to imagine isn’t it? Do you have a different top five? I’d love to hear other suggestions.

The No. 1 Tip for Birthday Social Media

Don’t text your Mom.

Or, more specifically, don’t only text your Mom. You can text her, sure. But this should not be the only means of communication with the woman who gave birth to you on her special day.

8085263072_e476826b08_b.jpg

Image: Foter.com

C’mon folks. I don’t care what age you are. It is simply not cool to only text YOUR MOTHER. Yeah, I know, all caps in a blog. That’s how serious I am about this!

And it’s not just because I am now a Mom, and I would probably lose my mind if I only got a text from my son (when he was old enough to have a phone that is). If he is not physically in my presence on the day of my birth he better be calling me on the phone to sing to me. If he knows what’s good for him that is. (Yes, husband, you can save this blog to remind him of this later).

Be Nice to Mom on Her Birthday

This blog came about after I saw a woman write a newspaper advice columnist for input on “What should I do about my adult children’s birthdays?” She points out that her own birthday was acknowledged only by a text this year. “I was very hurt,” she writes.

She mentions that her birthday is Jan. 1 and that “their father’s birthday is later in the year, and they will buy him a gift plus a card.” To me it seems she is trying to give them a little leeway since her birthday is near the holidays. But the columnist, Annie, is correct in saying to “Birthday Blues,” “Shame on your children. The least they could have done was send a card.”

The columnist goes on to note the children are taking Mom for granted.

Do you want your Mom to feel as if you are taking her for granted? On her birthday? Do you?!

Send a card. Send flowers. Buy a gift. Go visit. Take her to lunch. Use your phone to voice call her. Skype. FaceTime.

Remember, your Mama raised you better than to only text your Mother on her birthday. If you love the woman (and here I acknowledge some families have difficult relationships that might, perhaps, justify a mere text), show it by saying “Happy Birthday” in the voice your Mama gave you!

Top 5 Ways to Spend a $300K birthday present.

birthday winning

Photo credit: BradPerkins via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

It’s been a family tradition for years for family members to send Ervin Smolinksi scratch-off lottery tickets and chocolate for his birthday. This year it paid off.

The 94-year-old man made the news when he won $300,000 in the Michigan Lottery. His daughter-in-law bought the winning ticket as a gift for the World War II veteran.

“I’ve seen a whole lot in my life, and I don’t get worked up easily. I think my son-in-law was more worked up that I was,” Smolinksi told the news.

The win got me thinking though, as I probably too often do, what I would do if I won the lottery. Considering I don’t often play the lottery, it’s really a ridiculous game to play in my head. Yet, I enjoy the mental game. So, because this blog is often about giving, let me give you my top 5 ways to spend lottery winnings:

  1. Travel the world. Truly. Buy a tour package that has a travel agent set it up for you to get to every continent and live it up in luxurious hotels along the way.
  2. Pay off (or if you’re renting now buy with cash) house. Think of the joy of having a home that’s all equity. Come time to sell it, or pass it on, you’re sitting on value.
  3. Build up the college fund. With just one kid it’ll be easier for me to top up the account with some of these extra dollars, but putting it in his account in advance gives my family the benefit of accrued interest.
  4. Throw a massive — and I mean massive — par-tay for everyone I know and love in a destination location and with me footing the bill for hotels and travel and all that. Sort of like a wedding party, but I pay for it and we don’t have to say “I do” again.
  5. Donate. Find a few causes that you truly care about. Do the research about their credibility and give, give, give.

Those who are good at math might realize something here…I’ve probably overspent the $300K. Especially after the government takes the taxes out. Still, it’s fun to imagine isn’t it? Do you have a different top five? I’d love to hear other suggestions.

Birthday Goal to Get Behind

Milestone birthdays prompt many different reactions. There are those who plan big parties. Those who try to hide from the date and the attentions of friends. Or others who plan adventurous trips with family to mark a big year.

Recently, a video circulating Facebook was of an “extreme couponer” using her powers of saving on food for good. Lauren Puryear believes that “humans should never have to suffer,” and so she takes her coupon habit seriously enough to serve meals to the homeless in her native New Jersey.

The video shows her buying shelves and shelves of soups and pastas (and apparently storing them in a rented space) before going out onto the streets to provide food to those who need it. She claims to have served 10,000 meals thus far. She states her hope is to serve 30,000 by her 30th birthday!

This woman is not 10, and it is not stated in the video how old she was when she started this campaign. So, it’s safe to say she is setting a high hurdle for herself to reach. She will need to pick up the pace to reach her goal — especially to do so as responsibilities pile up (as they tend to do with each year).

Still, it is impossible to do anything but hope she achieves her goal by her milestone birthday. As she says in the video, “It is our human duty to have some type of love for other people.”

Worst case, if she doesn’t make it by her actual 30th birthday, she can become one of those people who stay 29 for several years in a row — at least until she serves that 30,000th dinner!

 

 

The 7 Ages of Birthday Gifts

Birthday gift ideas

Photo credit: jessicafm via Foter.com / CC BY-ND

Social scientists have long been interested in the exchange of goods as a moral rather than economic exchange. Yet no academic has been able to argue that there is an age at which we stop gleaning joy from giving or receiving gifts. As with Shakespeare’s Seven Ages of Man, we might also divide our reaction to gifts into seven stages:

 

…Our response to gifts having seven stages. At first the infant,

Drawn only to the shine or crackling sounds of wrapping paper;

And then the curious toddler, with a stack of gifts behind him,

More interested by far in the cardboard boxes they came in.

And then the enthusiastic schoolboy, ripping through the present

pile only needing to see what’s inside before moving on to the next.

Then a teen, full of strange ideas and ripe in smell, looking up from

Texting only long enough to acknowledge the cash or gift card,

Seeking an excuse to escape to the anonymous freedom of the mall.

Then the independent young man, full of book learning but burdened

By student debt, playing the part of gracious recipient while downplaying joy.

The sixth age shifts into the responsible adult, with claims of disinterest

In gifts and consistent embrace of his age as the youthful, well-saved 29.

Last scene of all, the milestones-only man more focused on making

Great plans for strange eventful trips when his age ends in 0, before oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

 

This bastardization is offered without the limitations of iambic pentameter, but with copious apologies to the Bard.

The Gift of Experiences

birthday gift ideas

Photo credit: torbakhopper via Foter.com / CC BY

The blogosphere is riddled with parenting pieces. One that caught my eye recently was entitled: “Why I Won’t Be Giving Your Kid a Birthday Present.” The title sounds more antagonistic than Victoria Fedden’s actual piece actually is. Her article tackles materialism and suggests that experiences matter more.

As the mother of “an extroverted 5-year-old,” she writes, about going often to “pretty over the top” events that net the birthday child “an avalanche of abundance.” She states: “Children today have too much stuff (my own included)…I’m not ungrateful, but I strongly believe that all of this excess breeds a terrible sense of indifference.”

On the heels of my own son’s 9th birthday, I heartily agree. In his younger years I was able to bring him onside with the idea of a food pantry or animal shelter drive instead of presents. But as he got older, and saw the loot his friends were bringing in, he resisted. Yet this year some of his presents remain unopened weeks later! He enjoyed the unwrapping part, but hasn’t actually taken the items out of their boxes!

Meaningful Experiences Matter More

Fedden’s point is that children remember the playing with their friends more than the presents. So her vow now is to gift kids “with something a lot more important: meaningful experiences.”

She suggests she will take a child to a picnic with her daughter, or the zoo, or a movie — creating a memorable experience for both the birthday celebrant and her own child. She writes: “Above all, the greatest gift we can ever give our kids is to teach them to build lasting relationships with others — relationships based on laughter and good memories and delightful experiences.”

I tried this idea of favoring experiences over goods on my son’s birthday this year by giving him a coupon book of experiences such as:

  • Going to a store for his favorite dessert
  • Inviting a friend over to watch a movie
  • Time at a trampoline park
  • Playing Frisbee golf with a parent

The one he was dying to use was playing one sport of his choosing in our cul de sac with both parents. We all went out and kicked the soccer ball around — and I think it’s safe to say we all had fun.

Favoring experiences over items is something I want to keep trying to value.

My confidence in the choice was only helped when I overheard my son showing his friends (over for a birthday sleepover) the gifts he’d already received and raving first about his cool coupon book of experiences.